Endless MelloxNear
by Fyreborne
Summary: Throughout the years of Wammys, Mello can never admit the truth. Near should be his rival,nothing more... So why can't he stop thinking about him? MelloxNear. Rated M for swearing and eventual sexual content.
1. Chapter One: You Help Them

Mello didn't bother knocking. Why knock when he was highly determined to harm the occupant of the room? He gave the shabby green door a kick and it swung open. His rival sat on the carpet, clothing as white as his snowy hair, constructing an intricate building out of some wooden blocks.

Growling, Mello kicked into the pile of blocks, toppling them over the smaller boy, who stared at him blankly.

"Good afternoon, Mello."

Mello bent down and pushed Near backwards, smirking.

"You're thirteen!" he replied smarmily "You're too old to be playing with blocks!"

Near's reply was calm, as he walked over to the bed, where one of his many impossible (to everyone except himself) puzzles was laid out, and picked up a few pieces.

"You're fourteen. You're too young to take things so seriously, Mello."

The mention of his name only riled Mello more, and he followed Near towards the bed, determined that he would probably wring Near's throat if the boy didn't stop making him want to scream.

"How do you beat me at EVERYTHING! I tried my best in this test… But you do nothing and get full marks! You don't even bother or care! It's like you don't feel ANYTHING"

Near remained calm as Mello edged closer, which only served to annoy the blonde further. He only looked up when Mello sat right on the bed. He crossed his legs in front of the boy and studied him closely. How to break the calm white wall of his innocent, slient intelligence?

"Mello?" he questioned, sounding unfazed yet curious, but his eyes betrayed a glint of something? Was it fear? Mello looked at the smaller boy and smiled… if Near was afraid to feel emotion, he'd scare him alright. In a clumsy attempt to steal Near's smug demeanor, he made a leap towards the boy, crashing onto him haphazardly and scattering puzzle pieces. His stomach hit against Near's knees and their lips met in a soft kiss, much gentler than Mello had intended. It lasted only a few seconds before Mello drew back to observe the reaction. Near's face had, for once in an incredibly long time, gained a little colour, and he looked surprised, reaching up to touch his own lips as if Mello might have stolen them. Mello had undoubtedly taken Near's first kiss.

Mello smiled smugly. He was winning. He pushed the knees down out of the way and settled closer to Near's body, his arms either side of the younger boy's waist, and kissed him again, this time with the intended forcefulness. This was it. Near was kissing back, he had power over his rival, finally, he was winning, the anger was slowly draining from his body as he pushed all his force into the kiss. To his surprise, warm arms wrapped around his neck, and Near pulled Mello even closer to him. His heart skipped a beat… was Near enjoying this… too much?

He thought about breaking free, but something about Near's soft body pressed up against his own made it impossible to move, like when trying to move from a warm, comfy bed. And suddenly, with all the anger at Near gone his body was light with elation, and all there was left to concentrate on was the passionate kiss. Mello felt a strange feeling spreading across his stomach and chest, like a star shooting across the inside of his body.

'No' his brain cried 'NO NO NO'

He managed to drag himself away and leapt back to the end of Near's bed, leaving the pale boy's arms empty and his face confused. Near was silent; it wasn't as if he was struggling for words, more that he didn't seem to feel there was anything to say.

Mello could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Damn it. How had Near won again? Mello had tried to give Near a weakness but that weakness had reverberated straight back to him.

"Are you okay, Mello?" Near asked, his cheeks still a little pink.

Mello was now the silent one, his heart pounding so loud in his ears it seemed impossible that Near couldn't hear it. He swallowed and closed his eyes to avoid the pale stare.

"I… I won… I…" he trailed off. Near said nothing and Mello was forced to open his eyes, only to see Near looking at him strangely.

"Whatever do you mean, Mello?" his voice was calm and quiet, but his face was curious again.

What could Mello say? What _did_ he mean? He thought he had been winning, but Near wasn't angry or hurt or confused…he was… happy. And to Near it would make no sense that that kiss had been intended as an attack on his emotions, a symbol of Mello's power.

The kiss had filled Mello with so many wayward emotions that he was now the confused one. He felt so stupid, his plan had completely backfired. He couldn't look the other boy in the eye for fear of blushing or even trying to do more to him. What had he been thinking? And why couldn't he stop thinking about doing it again?

Near spoke quietly, breaking Mello's self reflection. "I better pick up the pieces of my puzzle" As he went to do so, Mello grabbed his wrist and yanked him back. Even his innocence was aggravating, filling Mello with strange combinations of annoyance and lust spreading around his body, and making him shake from the excess emotion.

"You're… so…" he grabbed the front of Near's shirt "Why do you DO this? You never show any sign of emotion… you don't… you don't care about anything!"

Near spoke in his normal monotone. "I assure you, it's not deliberate." He turned his gaze away again.

Mello let go of the boy's shirt and let him drop back to the bed, stepping backwards off it.

"I hate you" he said, staring at the calm face obscured by white hair. He turned and stormed towards the door angrily.

"Mello…"

Mello turned to Near, who still wasn't looking directly at him "What?"

Near swallowed "It was a very nice kiss."

Mello walked out and slammed the door behind him, his body ablaze with wayward emotions.

Near had won again.


	2. Chapter Two: The Man Who Couldn't Cry

As Mello stormed out of Rodger's office, closely followed by the office's aforementioned owner, Near stayed sitting, and stared at the blank, white puzzle piece between his fingertips. Maybe, just maybe, if he continued placing the pieces correctly, everything would somehow slot back into place, life imitating art.

If Near had been a superstitious person he would have started to panic about whether the news they had just received was his fault. But the small, white haired teenager was in fact a rational, straightforward, logical person, and as such knew that that would be impossible. The feeling still squirmed around his gut, but he ignored it.

This was not the time for _post hoc ergo propter hoc _fallacies to exist within his thinking. His idol had died, and it was not as a result of he and Mello's actions the day before, or the feelings surrounding the events. Nor would praying or crying bring the man he so respected back.

Instead, it was his responsibility to carry on L's legacy.

Following L… it was all part of a more complex puzzle, the one that Near could never work out; the one that was hidden and unsolvable; the one of his own life.

Puzzles were easy because they lay flat and still, and didn't move if you didn't touch them. Near always tried to keep his life like a 2-d puzzle, by ignoring the other facets of his mind; the hopes, the dreams, the fears… the emotions… all of that merely sufficed to turn the brain into a 3-d jumble.

The only problem was, Near knew that any man who tried to suppress his own emotions was foolish. And while he did not show his own, he was often painfully aware of their existence. Whilst a puzzle would not move if you left it alone, emotions would stir all the more when you weren't noticing them, until the unconscious harboured disturbingly tempestuous ideas. Near felt his face get a little hot. He shouldn't think about those things. But, Mello could be strangely attractive at times…

No! He needed to keep a clear head if he was to solve the Kira case. But he was a few months off fourteen, and his hormones were beginning to get the better of him. The best way to get a puzzle done was to take it and control it. Surely then, the wise man was one who acted upon his emotions. He could follow the stairs up to the blonde's room; steal a moment with him… before… before he… left for good.

Something hurt within Near's chest and, in a rare moment of physical drama, he had picked up the tray with the puzzle in and catapulted it across the room, white pieces scattering like oddly uniform snowflakes. He sighed and stood up, walking over to pick up the tray and crouching to reassemble the scattered pieces.

"Are you alright, Near?" the white-haired boy turned towards the doorway, from which this sudden voice had emerged. Stood there was a red-brunette boy in dungarees and his usual striped shirt, large glasses and a kind smile on his face.

"M-Matt" Near stuttered. "I was- I'm fine…" he quickly scooped up the remaining pieces. "Everything's okay."

Matt's jaw moved, obviously chewing on some kind of gum "K."

Near turned away from him to replace the lid on the puzzle box.

"'Cos if there was something…" Matt continued "You could, like… tell me… Like if it was about your parents or something."

Near turned back to look at him sharply "My… my parents."

"Yeah, I figured… that might be…like… why you looked down."

"Why would… do you know something about…"

Their eyes locked and Matt looked down guiltily.

"Look… don't tell anyone but… I'm a very good computer hacker and… Rodger has your file…"

Near's mouth opened and closed in uncertainty.

"I know… it wasn't very nice what happened to… to them… and… well, I know it must be harder, the fact that you saw it and…"

"Matt." said Near softly "I wasn't thinking about that."

"Oh… well… um… okay… sorry." He paused "So how comes you're in here by yourself anyways?"

"Well Rodger stormed off when… oh-" he cut himself short remembering the matter in hand "My apologies Matt, I should have told you. Mello is going to leave the orphanage"

Matt smirked "No he's not."

Near blinked "What?"

"Rodger caught up with him. Sent him to his room. And the grounds are all locked anyway. Said he can't leave until he's sixteen; it's the law."

Near breathed a sigh of relief, though he was still uncertain; the truth was that if Mello really wanted to leave, then he would.

"You're glad then." Matt smiled.

"What?"

"Nothing." But Near had heard exactly what he had said. What had he meant? Was Matt really that perceptive? Or had Mello told him about… Oh, please, no. He felt sick at the idea of Mello laughing at him with his best friend.

"Near?" Matt said. "He's in his room, anyway…" He turned to leave, but then paused mid-step.

"He's always talking about you." Near looked at him, his eyes suddenly focused, as if clinging to the words. "I know he always says he wants to be as good as you because he hates you but…" Matt trailed off and shrugged, smiling a little. "Sometimes your best mate knows you better than you know yourself, you know?" And with that he was gone.

Near stood there, half bemused, half curious. Did Matt really mean…?

He put the puzzle down and walked down the hall and towards the stairs, nodding at a couple of the children who passed him. Matt had caused his mind to regurgitate several unpleasant thoughts about his past. He sort of wished the boy had never turned up. But these were the thoughts that could be repressed. For now, he had to find Mello. He was still having trouble confirming that the night before had not been a dream. He had always liked Mello… but he couldn't recall when, along the line, he had started liking him to the point where he realized that liking him wasn't quite the right thing to be doing. Perhaps when he began to dream about kissing the boy. This was why it was hard to believe the events of the night before were real, the only convincer being the memory of the feeling of the kiss that Mello had granted him. His first kiss. He recalled the boy moving even closer to him… and then…

Then he realized that he really, ireally/i liked Mello.

He composed himself as he reached the blonde's door, concluding that having a frame of mind when he would most likely jump on the boy when the door was opened was somewhat counterproductive to his purpose. He really needed to make sure Mello would stay at Wammy's. He knocked on the door gently, and a voice emerged from inside.

"Matt?" Mello yelled, his voice sounding unusual yet familiar "Sorry I yelled at you 'nd stuff dude it's just… I've got a lot to think about right now… did you get my chocolate?" The door was opened without warning and Near gave a squeak.

"Mel-"

Mello's face turned from apology to disgust when he saw the other boy, and he looked him up and down.

"The fuck do you want?" the teen growled. His hair was messy and his eyes looked almost… as if he had been crying?

Near chewed on his lip.

"I-" he stuttered "Sorry about… about L…"

Mello hesitated, staring at the boy. Their eyes met and for one, shining second in time, Near felt as though Mello was about to move towards him, to kiss him again. But the blonde did not budge.

"Fuck _off_, Near." And with that, he slammed the door in the other boy's face.


End file.
